we were having an engagement party but dave was in dan singer's body - but it was dave. bn was there too, with an and he was friendly. i believed we would even be able to exchange email.
switch to a rocking boat on the water... it was all rusted metal. not sure if the party was on that boat or if it was separate from the dream before that.
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i had been thinking about how i'd been a jerk to ds and felt bad about it. (not as bad as bn had been but similar. good to realize that i've hurt others too). i found a pic of him online - he's doing great, working in intl trade for a big company, looks great too. mom said he's married. at one time before i met dave, i felt pissed that i'd dismissed a good guy like him. i'm happy for him though.
i was feeling depressed yesterday, felt like i'd not lived up to mom's and dad's expectations (though in many ways dad's success was luck as well as hard work), as dave and i walked past all the fancy places along WEA, and the new trump building on 72nd street. dammmit, i would like to have a choice to live there or somewhere fancy like that... for the beauty, the peace of mind that a nice clean environmt gives. dave talked to me about my mental models ... he was very helpful. he is a healer. he also put his hands on me like reiki and unintentionally gave me the energy to get up and walk outside to the reservoir with him (though i still felt like i couldn't run)
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