i hate the thought of having a personal "diary" online. i know blogs are not really diaries but i've seen some like that, especially back a few years, around 1999. it seems that there are a lot of lonely people who wish to have all their private thoughts blasted into internet space. however, i do like the idea of tracking my thoughts and having the ability to see them in a larger context. if you are reading this, it is because i have privileged you, my friend, into my space.
i also enjoy ranting. my favorite place on the web is www.delphiforums.com. i like making fun of my old church, amongst other things, in exicoc_support and iccdiscussion. but it's time to move on to other things, i think...
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where i am: work
my energy: tired, restless
my plans: none, but would like to see gangs of new york. checkin' out a gym.
last web site remembered: ofoto. just sent out my holiday piccies
last event: jay leaving on tour again
fun things today: starting this blog, making comments on my pics, and setting up some polls
annoyed by: co-worker who keeps blasting loud shit on his computer
where I'm going: meeting prospective roommates
what i'd rather do: watch that movie w/someone i haven't hung out with for a while.
last inspired by: cornel west. jay and i were watching someone interview him on c-span. he talked about transformation. he thinks the scariest thing is not external, but true self-exploration. he recommended 5 books. Cornel loves jazz artists as well, as they represent to him people who are most truly being who they are.
this is why i loved gandhi, MLK, Malcolm X in college.
it is hard to be inspired lately. putting on the adult mask, going to work.
last interesting convo: with steve sykes, about identity vs conformity. not sure that's a good way to frame the argument. it began with the question, what makes a great "hit" vs. a great "song"? his example of a great "hit" that's not the other: J.Lo's "Jenny from the block." he says it appeals to middle america, in that they can be proud to be a little ghetto buying her stuff. jlo is doing great trying to keep it "real," because her lyrics resonate with common people who'll buy her shit.
i have been reading n. chomsky's "the common good" and he was just talking about how the people in power (small power tyrannies) would love to turn the U.S. into something like a third-world country, with a small elite w/all the power, and the rest of the people common w/no power. and how they try to tie capitalism & freedom together. also, they try to tie individualism and good together. making "group-think" look bad. interesting, because people need to learn how to care and "group-think" to rise up united against these small power tyrannies. so similar to the ICC. human nature doesn't change. and i saw the third-world in the philippines a month ago- wow, i can totally see it happening in nyc already, after mom & dad let me go with no support, no cushion. i appreciate it now. however, sometimes i think about how i can get more power from linking up w/elite people i know. this bothers me.
anyway, i brought up to steve the idea of tying the individual, and what's "real," with what's good. this is so the "american way" - i am not socialist, don't believe in group-think either - it's just so simplistic to moralize about either. how well we are being brainwashed.

(yes i know it's rambling and probably makes little sense... give me some time to digest it--)