spies...!
WHY ARE THERE PEOPLE HERE visiting here from .mil, .gov sites?! see my extreme tracker (small box at the bottom left corner of the screen). people, your tax dollars at work.

back to my happy little life -- howard zinn, views on money and life
reading howard zinn, skipped to the 20th century book which is really the People's History of the United States but with only twentieth century history, plus old man bush & clinton. i demanded that my other liberal work friend get this book. i've been reading on the labor unions, socialist ideals, the people who died, the criminal tactics some union leaders promoted, the grass roots organization, the corruption of "mis"-leaders, the inspiration of the earnest leaders, the ideals, the sacrifice. it reminds me of the icc in some ways. these people were willing to go for broke. i think most people would be in desperate circumstances. it makes you get spiritual. it's depressing to read about the militia and the government attacking these people. the desperation to protect your comfort zone at the cost of others' lives -- shocking. all based on the perception that one's life will be ruined without the huge amounts of money one commands. maybe i'm being overly simplistic, but doesn't it all come down to this? j says that the leaders who manipulated the race issue with the working class will do anything to survive, that their manipulation is not necessarily conscious. i would add that people will do anything to stay comfortable. people are afraid that if they aren't, the suburban myth will kick in: you'll be homeless! you'll starve!! you'll be in the streets!! oh please.

despite the idealistic and naive attempts to point to our forefather's constitution, we don't have a democracy. rather, an "idea" of democracy is perpetrated and used to manipulate us to follow our wealthy leaders' agendas. i would agree that to a certain extent, our very knowledge allows us to continually strive for and exercise true democracy, as the many social movements of the past have shown. j's question last night: how do you have democracy without greed? well i would rephrase the question: how do you have democracy for the greedy? not judging between people -- we all are greedy, which is why power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely. unless you are aware and ready for it. which is where spirituality come in. [4/17 a correction: j said he meant to ask, "how do you have democracy with capitalism?" well that's really not a different question, IMO, but of course he really wanted to make that clear. OK!]

the tiring and unspiritual pursuit of material wealth and people's obsession with money drives people mad. when i was living with a lot of money a lot of things about life were miserable. i felt weak and powerless and saw my family suffer from the burden of debts, taxes, people stealing your money, suing you for money, the superficial social circles, the cold, self-obsessed meanness of the people hovering around you who also had money or wanted some. the only good thing is its power to comfort and distract yourself. but you don't need that much to have that, at least not in this country. and that power is based on your standard of comfort, which can always be adjusted (sure was when i had "noooo monnney!" (as char puts it) ), and your level of inspiration. however, it takes money to have hobbies... i like being able to pay for knitting needles and music/dance lessons... if i had the same amount money that allows me to do these things for the rest of my life, i'll stay happy. ah, the spiritual conflict, the body yearns for comfort! i remember when i was living all ghetto in the church, but i was fine with it because i was doing it for something i believe in.

i have always equated money with unhappiness... i suppose that's why it's hard for me to get motivated to make a lot of it. i hate being poor too, don't get me wrong--debt sucks even more when you're poor. at least when you're rich, you have a house to sit in even if you owe tons of it. when you're renting you can get kicked to the curb. good thing nyc has strong tenant laws, though these seem to be disappearing one by one like everything else.