i showed dinah the sweater i made. i've been getting a lot of compliments on it. that's because i totally hate all the traditional ugly sweater people make, although there's definitely a knitting trend that's transcending them. i found this great site for MAKE workshop, a knitting school here in nyc, that had a sweater i liked. i created my pattern based on the pic but without sleeves, in olive green merino wool. it looks sexy on me, if i do say so myself. which i'm siked about because i thought it'd be too small, or stretch too far.

dinah, my business inspiration (along with matt in boston) said i should design petite line of knits. i've already been playing with the idea of creating accessories. the thing is, it's a hobby to me and the idea of producing all the time is a cost i have to think about. and i know what production is like after working for cosmetics and advertising. pain in the ass! but i'm still open to the idea, especially as it would give me a chance to develop some business skills. i know a great little market on mulberry that was operating last year out of a church -- i'd like to sell my wares that way, or even do a weekend vendor thing. not sure what that involves though, and i know you have to apply for a license. it's interesting to me that the IRS allows you to claim "hobby" deductions, which makes sense if you make a "hobby income." i think that's where i'd fall, because i would certainly not want to make a living out of this--way too stressful.

j and i have been doing great. we were falling into a routine and decided to change it (caused some drama, at first i was like "I'M BORED") he thought i wanted to break up. i did too, then realized it was just over something that could be changed easily. i realized that every time we hang, i'm tired!! and that really makes me frustrated, having to hang when i'm tired. so we decided to hang on afternoons instead, and with the smoking ban lifted and my work schedule starting at 10 am, i'm finding my energy to be up more often. it changed our dynamic SO much!

j and i talked about our roles in each others' lives down at cafe figaro (we were out at 2AM, on MY request--I wasn't tired!). my role for him, he said, was that I showed him how to have real intimacy. his role for me -- i said, "you make me do what is unnatural!" in a good way. i would never eat well or exercise, or take breaks in my workaholic day, if it weren't for his gentle suggestions... LOL. he also takes care of me, i said that really his role is as someone who takes care of me but is also my partner - most people i've been with have been less or more mature than me, with no balanced dynamic. also j and are alternately extroverted or introverted with people, so there no one person who's loud or quiet. both of us are... well, both.

i love him, my honey j. he's the guy that i thought about in my head, the one i hadn't met yet and hoped existed, and finally did. i'm so lucky.

one more drama -- damn taxes. trying to figure out if it's worth it to pay an accountant. again, it's not. i thought i could contribute prior year charity contributions but you have to have given more than 50% AGI (for church contrib). i was about to go on this trek to find my old check numbers, call the bank to see if they have an archive and have them send copies to me. good thing i figured it out before going to all that trouble. i hate paying taxes, though i don't mind paying a certain amount as a citizen. but if i am paying, i should have more say in our government who's bringing our world down a scary path. i'm even thinking of not having a kid, because the world is feeling more lost every day. and then all these out-of-touch social subtle expectaions (demands) from the fam about getting married, becoming a doctor, having kids because i'm nearing "that age." fuck that. the world where i'm coming of age is not the same world where they came of age. it's time to rethink, reconfigure.

while doing my taxes, i am struck at how many deductions go towards business-related things, even deducting a home computer used partially for investment. i remember when "capitalism" was only some big word to me in history class. a MUST READ: Howard Zinn's The People's History of The United States. read the Amazon reviews too. admittedly leftist and skewed to the perspective of "the common people" but this book rings so true to my own experiences and makes complete and total sense. i suppose it also reinforces my cynical view of human nature, as well.

more knit obsession links:
RedLipstick Boutique, Brooklyn: Incredibly inspiring designs. Oh my god, and I'm not the only one. She has a blog.

I also got help on my sweater pattern from girl from auntie.

Other good ones: get crafty, readymade mag, and (love the title): not martha

Also this girl has good links. I started out my search here when I was looking for non-traditional (read: ugly) patterns.

I like this guy's philosophy: "Ranjit's ambition is to dabble in every existing form of art and craft at least once."