family
they're all coming up this weekend... and not for easter, but because of random "coincidences" that came together this weekend: my cousin for her friend's "baptism," my brother for his birthday (girlfriend got him plane tickets), mom & dad to see my bro and me for his 26th birthday, because dad happens to be in DC this month. i was just thinking last month, why does my family have to be so far away? sometimes i get jealous that some people have their families here, though i know others are jealous that mine are so far. har har. well i'm grateful.

psychic shit
i have some psychic phenomena happening lately... starting with last summer. i had an older cousins who took care of me with his wife when i was little. i hadn't thought of them in years, but in june i had a dream about them visiting me in nyc, with their new baby. they have never been able to have a baby. the very next morning, my dad emailed me to ask if i could come down to dc to be the godmother for my cousins' new baby... who was adopted that week!!

that whole summer, when i went driving, i knew when cops were going to come over the road, and somehow "knew" who was calling me even without caller ID. and a few weeks ago i dreamt that a friend (who i hadn't seen in a while) was really angry at some guys we knew. when i told her about it, she said, "HOW did you know??!" finally, i wrote bobby & j about my "emergency" info - parents' info, etc... and bobby wrote me back, "GET out of my life and mind. I was think of this right before bed last night. I was thinking also to e-mail my parents and siblings information about friends here so if something should happen they have a NYC person to be in contact with. NO WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

wierd.

screenwriting
simone, bobby and i saw better luck tomorrow, an asian-american teen suspense film that opened this weekend. for some reason we all had such strong reactions to it. it's set in Orange County (LA), where bobby & simone grew up. simone and bobby were really hardworking asian-american high schoolers too. bobby's email: "But I was thinking about all those kids who were working so hard, and will continue to work hard, and then end up like us, people with busy lives!!! Gosh, where were the "warning sign" that life would be this busy and complicated"?? that's true!! also poor bobby has been really stressed out... but it also inspired me and simone, who went to tisch film school and became a lawyer because she wants to be able to care for her family. her friends from film school even sat her down and said, you are TALENTED, what the hell are you doing in law school?? so we decided to go out and feed ourselves creatively every week--an art gallery this week, taking pictures next weekend. it's so easy to get stuck, but you just got to do one little thing at a time. you never know where it can lead.

i've started writing ideas for a script on my private blog. my idea is staying private. but i'll tell you about j's -- j thought this would make a good a movie: the stories of four different jazz musicians in present day nyc and the shit they go through on an every day level. club managers, gigs, relationships, etc. after hanging out w/j my jazz musician honey for the past year and a half, i've found the whole culture to be really interesting. what strikes me most is how they are like a brotherhood. these guys all know each other. and, it's mostly guys. my first time at smalls, on jason's monday nights there, i remember being struck at the fountain of youth in jazz.. many of them are over 30 but don't look a day over 20. or even 15. jason's band looks like the band guys from high school, except... they're damn good!! it's funny !! the casualness in their performances, compared to classical, even rock music, is unique too. j will walk around, have a smoke, have a conversation, in the middle of his sets. i should have written down my first impressions last year (maybe i did somewhere...) when they happened, because a lot of it i take for granted now.

further thoughts on money
most new yorkers are liberal. why is that? because we see so much CRAP every day and we put up with so much CRAP with everything from noise pollution to annoying fake street bums to annoying bureaucratic assclowns. shit, social problems are real to me every single fucking day, not just some theoretical thing that i read about in suburbia from the local newspaper. i will pay money if i believe it will alleviate some of these problems i see! i get so pissed arguing with some of the military conservatives on the icc df that i won't talk to them about it anymore. call me naive but that's my world view, fucker.

another thing my coworker and i were talking about: the lame stance some people take with politics, "i'm socially liberal, fiscally conservative." in other words, "I just want what i want, but i like to sound like i give a damn about people." i prefer an outright, "rich should rule the country because we own it" POV over that lukewarm shit any day.

god can i get anymore pissed off today? maybe it's what i ate for lunch... ha ha. not. by the way, there's howard zinn updated PHOUS and included a chapter on Bush W and the "war on terrorism." saw it at barnes & noble today. i already have PHOUS and the 20th c. revise. would someone photocopy the chapter and send it to me? i would be so grateful.

piano
i gotta practice ... my roommate's out of town.