Gary and B and rationalization

B told me that his boyfriend, Gary, got married to their friend
upstairs, who had already been married before. When I expressed
confusion about the scenario, B assured me that it was okay but it
obviously seemed like rationalization, intellectualization. I felt
frustrated and sad for B.
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H had challenged me last night about my actions with d this past
weekend (Halloween, we played after I didn't speak with him for 2
weeks). He said I was rationalizing; it's easy to be deceived. I don't
think I am. But the most helpful thing was 1) he also challenged me to
think "why am I doing this" for every action and 2) d's friend bry
said in general you have to listen to your heart esp when u r highly
intellectual. jade says the same thing.