I was at a Xmas party hosted by B. and their family. I was trying to fit in as J. was feeling jealous and wierd with me. My job was to put up one wall of Xmas lights against the ceiling - the other 3 walls were done. I tried to put a set of lights up that matched, but they totally mismatched and blinked in a clashing pattern. I went to the bathroom to fix my makeup. The bathroom was a public bathroom. Nikki was there covered in the ladies' sanitary bin trash. She looked so cute, like uh oh I'm going to get into trouble. Then I was bringing Nikki to church with my mom and dad. I only wanted to bring her because they said dogs were welcome. We had to go down a very crowded hallway, lots of people. I had to pull a little on her leash because she was all tremblina and scared. I decided it would be best to leave with her, and she was very relieved by that.
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Been having second thoughts about going back to move to MD and whether I would really fit in. I left because that area was too conservative for me, and thought I've changed and grown enough to handle it better, but during Xmas I found that was totally not the case.
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