this week i told dr r about work. my boss got a huge promotion and i probably will too. and i said how it increases my fears that i feel like i do dorky things without realizing i do. i'm constantly trying to figure out how i "really" look like to people because i know my own self-image is not accurate. she said this kind of thinking is common among people abused as children, and it's another form of self-attack.
dream #1 from yesterday
dave comes over. i am happy to see him, and we eat dinner. i am in the kitchen and start eating while he's in my bedroom, far at the other end of the apartment. i realize he's far, and he comes over to see me in the kitchen. for some reason it is hard for us try to get together and eat in the same spot in the apt. i miss him. --i then woke up and im'ed asking for him to come over.--
dream #2
a friend shows us their house. it has an extensive set of rooms in the basement apartments, which have been rented out to 2 people. to get to the stairs leading down, we have to climb over a column at the back wall of a ground level room. i remember wondering why it was so hard to walk into.
dream #3
i have been hanging out at a party with some jock kids and got along with them. later i was outside. as i approached a volleyball game they were playing, the head of the jocks asked me to come and play in a friendly way. i called her a bitch and refused angrily. they were all surprised and thought i was totally weird. i walked away. on my way home i had to walk through several rooms in a building under construction. i was barefoot, and the ground was wet. thought i saw broken glass. i walked through anyway, and didn't think i'd have any problems. when i got home, my feet were wet and had huge pores in them. at first it looked like there was no glass in my foot, but then i saw tiny shiny pieces of glass sticking out. when i pulled at them, a giant piece of glass came out. there were about 6 pieces that i pulled out. it felt good.
dream #4
i was with hernan in paris, don't remember what happened but it felt like old times.
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